deuces...

so...here are 2 things I've been wanting to talk about for weeks now...first thing being...why do people lie? Especially to the ones who care for them the most...is it that they think they know what's best? Is it that they don't wanna hurt them or lose them? what ever the reason...it just goes to show human nature...we are all fearful of the future...no one wants to truly believe in anything wonderful again...it seems as though love just doesn't exist anymore...especially amongst my generation, only lies and shadows of it...(refer to my 1st blog about love) anyways...the most scary thing of all....is when I see people lying...to themselves....and doing it so well...that they even start to believe their own lie...and its becomes the truth in their own world...they've successfully convinced themselves of it and seek approval of others but only do so with the people they know will be easily influenced in doing so...this, so doing, they enable themselves to move on...as it may...from the situation from which they've formulated the lie for...and in the end clearing their conscience of what may or may not have been something significantly bothering them...this is one of man's greatest downfalls and as we all don't really have a way to counter it...especially when after we "run away from it all" and reality eventually catches up...thats when it smacks you in the face *wattap* you know its coming but you just couldn't prepare well enough for it...so to avoid this its pretty simple...hard at the same time ....but simple nonetheless....STOP LYING...be honest about your mistakes and even your short comings....those that forgive will remain there forever...those that don't....don't deserve to be around...forgiveness yes...even God has shown how well it works...


so my second thing is this...what is moving on? is it growing to become a better person?....or is it forgiving and forgetting and going back to the way you were?...cuz if what you were doing was right by you and by those around you...heck everyone's telling you that....should you change? should you be a different person to who you were before?....tough isn't it?....nawww....everyone will change over time...and everyone has faults....so all that bullshit about "I'm not gonna change for anyone and they shouldn't ask me too!" should be a thing of the past...we all need to change...at least changing out bad habits and stuff like that....so as I've been doing for the past few weeks....changing....it's me using what I've learnt....from all the mistakes of the past...(even the most recent ones)...to become a better person....but still retain the essence that is me...so to all those who wanna be delusional and think you're "perfect" just the way you are...umm....reality check!...YOU ARE NOT...and the sooner you begin to realize that...the sooner you can MOVE ON...be a better you...you may not have to go around posing as though you're so much better off now...cause if all you want is approval from friends who may not even be true friends...then you've done nothing but started digging a deeper hole for yourself to fall in...cause KARMA is a BITCH....being a better you could be on the inside...never has to be aesthetic...remember your mistakes, those caught in the cross fire, those you directly hurt and even the collateral damage...and seek to ensure you never repeat that again...not even a SECOND TIME...because when you look at the flashback of your life, you'll realize, and hearing another "I told you so" from someone just aint gonna cut it...

leaving you with these words...live life for God...not for you....not for the world and definitely not for your friends and family...and happiness will eternally be yours...

SO...WHEN THE SMOKE CLEARS...WHAT'S LEFT?

its been awhile...i know lol...anyways...i've been going tru alot of mess in my life that i jus needed to process...and while i'm still doing so, i believe a blog was in order...who cares if its not. Lets look at this familiar issue for some, heard of by others, experienced often by many...what happens when a relationship has ended? what do we do from now on? where do we go? who else is affected besides the obvious 2 parties involved?....fleck that...relationships can go sour, parties can cheat, and well as some would call it...."irreconcilable differences"...thats a divorce terminology tho, not for what I'm going for...thats more for those people, IN MY OPINION, that are too afraid to work on something that maybe worth it and because they are scared that they may have to take responsibility for their actions they run away...what ever tho, thats them, what i'm getting at is this...after a relationship mutual friends are also affected, an more so cus they are now at the cross roads where they will have to try their best to be neutral or eventually take sides, where from then on they may no longer be mutual friends...sucks when people fleck up something good, i guess they jus get bored with how calm, mellow, and simple a relationship maybe....an well some decide to become cheaters, or jus leave out of sheer boredom..all these factors add up to a pot of ingredients for a disaster of a meal....friends are affected...family members also cuz they now have to "ignore" the other party that they're not related to as well...this world can become so complex its no longer fun to live in, an well from my experience its what happened to me...my trust was shattered in an individual and whilst i was trying to put back those pieces of the mirror of trust...i was left in the dust for someone who had a brand new mirror...twice...another group to look at when a relationship ends , providing its WASN'T mutual, is the party that was left by the other half in the relationship....why would a former lover want to be friends? to torture the other person an show them that they cud also be happy with someone else? isnt it true that if u loved something/one set them free, if its truly yours it'll come back to u..but what if....WHAT IF...love wasn't in the 1st place? that means that when the dust clears...all thats left are...sad mutual friends who are in for a struggle, family trying to comfort the broken hearted, family celebrating with the one who is supposedly "happier" now...and well....one broken heart...this broken heart chose to blog about this but being honest, i dont think it will ever repair it self fully for anyone else...but thats just for now....I hope....its funny how sooooooo many people wanna offer advice in these situations when all you've asked them was to simply listen...when people give advice, especially to the sensitive ones, they tend to be influenced easily into making DUMB decisions, most of the time , WRONG in their choices....to me...a lot of women know what they want and feel they absolutely have to get it....but they rarely ever know what they need and whats good for them....when the dust settles....all prior bad decisions soon become clear...as well as their consequences....and a few theories seem to emerge in my mind...some are...A.W.B....i.e. all women bad...funny as it is...i think this maybe be right....like the reverse of the catch-phrase of the law...where all women are bad until proven innocent...i wish those who get into future relationships dont make those kinds of mistakes again...i pray for them to guard your hearts but dont be afraid to open up sometimes and give them a peak of your heart...metaphorically speaking....LOL...anyways whilst i head to bed i wanna leave u with some questions...if u had a failed relationship,why be judgmental of those that aren't involved?...

well another question is.....is it still worth fighting for? let logic take over and things will be easier...is this person you love really worth fighting for? can you see said person in your future?

now the old saying goes..."its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"...how ever its phrased, it means the experience of loving someone trumps losing them....to those that hate me...i'm glad that you all fuel me...to all my friends you all are the best...help you see the way out of impossible situations....over all live you life, not around anyone...keep in mind a normal relationship is NOT a marriage, so there are no divorces nor are they any collateral damage...only friends and family...so here's a toast to long lasting relationships..may they last even longer.....an may every one...not end up lonely...God Bless...happiness to all i wish...:)